The Confidence Gap

Hey guys-

Last week, I finished reading “The Confidence Gap” by Russ Harris

I want to talk about it with you because this book got rid of MANY myths for me

Including the myth that “confidence is something you are born with”

Umm.. say what?!

When I got my first “real” big girl job, I knew NOTHING about it

I walked in my first day scared shitless

Six months later, I walked in like I owned the place

What changed?

I learned, practiced, and took immediate action

Confidence comes AFTER we put in the work, not before

So what does this mean?

Waiting to do something until we “feel confident” makes zero sense

Next time your mind tricks you into thinking that way–acknowledge it

But then tell yourself, “I will only gain confidence by taking action first”

I’ve also learned I act out of emotion a lot

Let me explain…

Let’s say it’s Friday, I had the longest week and feel exhausted

SO naturally, I tell myself I’m too tired to go workout

Well, as much as we all have the right to skip a workout here & there

Making constant excuses out of emotion can be an issue

Since reading this book- my goals are greater than my emotions

I focus on what matters: my values (you will learn your values after reading it)

It’s an amazing feeling to be in control or to know you CAN be

If this sparks your interest- click here

It’s also a great gift to give to someone this holiday season! 🙂

 

xx

Talita

Bucket list of joy

Once upon a time…

The Holidays were the happiest time of the year for me

I think a lot of my readers can relate to a time they felt the same

Every year since I moved to the United States, all I’ve done is feel sorry for myself

Every end of November is a reminder of what I no longer have

A huge family to celebrate the holidays with like I used to growing up.

This year, you could say it’s a bit worse

My mom/best friend won’t be here this year either

She traveled to Brasil to be with her mom, brothers and sisters

But I want to change my mindset this year and challenge you to do the same

We can’t change what’s changed (pun-intended)

HOWEVER, we CAN start new traditions

Start new traditions to look forward to that fit your CURRENT life

Because everyone deserves to feel joy this time of the year!

So here are some new traditions I will start this year

Let’s call it my Holiday Bucket List of Joy:

  • Try a holiday baking recipe every year!
  • Go to at least ONE holiday party that a friend throws (no exceptions!)
  • Donate to a homeless shelter or volunteer
  • Invite TWO people in your life to see one Christmas movie at the theaters
  • Wear Christmas PJ’S on Christmas morning or Christmas Eve
  • Go to Mass and thank God for all your blessings (at least once)

YES! So the plan is to have this list on my fridge as a daily reminder

And also, so I can check it off as I complete my traditions.

Obviously, yours may be different than mine

Or you may like what I have.

Either way, I hope this year- you transform your thinking and find joy.

(above pictures from Legacy Place in Dedham)

Great shopping plaza 😉

xx

Talita

 

Mount Washington Hotel Review

Mount Washington Hotel

Let me just start by saying, WOW.

There really is no other word to describe the experience Ryan and I had there

But let me take a step back and tell you right off the bat, this isn’t a paid post

I genuinely enjoyed my stay there and wanted to share my experience with you

I’ve also stopped taking “paid” collaborations since I got back into blogging

I only collaborate with companies I’d recommend regardless of a collaboration

I want this to be a reliable place for my readers, as trust in blogging is decreasing

BUT, don’t take my word for it. I also got pictures to prove it 😉YES, you guys. Pictures don’t even do it justice

I couldn’t stop looking at the endless views, every angle I looked

Not to mention, this getaway to the mountains was a NECESSITY 

Ever just want to escape the city for a couple of nights and get your mind right?

But what’s a girl to do at Mount Washington Hotel?

WELL, I am GLAD you asked!

They have a variety of restaurants/bars/buffet/games/heated outdoor pool/Jacuzzi

As well as, indoor pool and Jacuzzi

They host an event every night, and have donuts or sugar cookies in the morning

FREE of charge. I kid you not.

Did I mention, views?

It’s honestly humbling.

But the real reason I wanted to write a post was because of their staff

I know how hard it is to get the right team to work in a gigantic resort like such

And I was WOWED every single time by their staff

They were so courteous, friendly, helpful, and cheerful

I felt like I was in a Hallmark movie for the weekend

They made Ryan and I feel like we were in a different planet

I’ll give you an example:

When we first arrived, they asked us what we were there for

Ryan said we were there to celebrate my birthday (hence the big gold balloons)

Haha

And later that night, we got a knock on our door. “Room service!

This nice woman was outside holding two delicious cupcakes

Two cupcakes with a happy birthday sign on them

It was the cutest thing.

I honestly didn’t want to leave and can’t wait to go back again.

SO, if you are trying to surprise your loved one with a weekend getaway

Or escape from reality for a bit

I highly recommend you check out Mount Washington Hotel

Lastly, a big shout out to the best boyfriend on this planet for planning this out!

xx

Talita

Hello November

Hello November!

My favorite month of the year, my birthday month 😉

I think I might have overdone it this year.

But then again, I don’t believe in “overdoing” birthdays

I also don’t believe in counting Thanksgiving calories 😉 haha!

On that note, have you thought about what you are grateful for this year?

I’m grateful for a new chance to start over after taking a risk

I’m thankful for taking a risk and learning so much about myself

I’m thankful for my family and friends

I’m also thankful for comfy clothes and purple shampoo.

But let’s talk about this month’s box from Ellie

I mean, I have not taken this outfit off- it’s so freaking comfortable

And I have slept in that white shirt many nights

Once you touch it, you will understand. The material is SO SOFT!

But this month, we also got this cozy wrap that is SO versatile.

It’s so freaking soft too, and way too freaking fashionable for the gym

Like no, I’m wearing this out to brunch instead.
 And of course, this super adorable pair of leggings is also included.

SO, there you have it!

Ellie’s November’s box

CLICK HERE to see how you can subscribe for YOUR monthly surprise!

Thank you for stopping by & Happy Thanksgiving!

xx

Talita

 

World Mental Health Day: My story

Today is World Mental Health Day

_______________

Did you know 1 in 5 Adults have a mental health condition?

Youth health is also worsening, and 80% of them are left with no or insufficient treatment

When I was about eleven years old, I moved to the U.S. with my parents and six-year-old brother

We moved here with nothing but the clothes we had on

Everything and everyone we knew were a 12 hour flight away

We also didn’t speak the language or know much about this new culture

My dad’s third cousin which he had never met, helped us by giving us shelter at her place for three months

In those three months, she made our lives living hell.

She wouldn’t let us look out the window or leave the house

She’d say we would get deported back home if we stepped outside

We had a VISA to stay at the time but didn’t know any better

This was a new world for us, and the most vulnerable we’ve ever been

Then, my parents finally found a place to rent and found a job

That was when I was left alone to take care of my six-year-old brother for the first time in my life

Soon I started having anxiety and panic attacks

I remember feeling my heart beating so fast I thought it was going to explode

I felt like I was going to die

I can’t explain the awful feeling I felt many nights a week and how many calls my mom had to take from me

My poor mom had to talk me out of a panic attack every call

Until finally, it started to not be so bad

But I still deal with anxiety to this day. And thanks to my amazing mom’s support, I no longer have panic attacks

The reason I’m sharing this is because I’m not ashamed to be human

And neither should you be

Talk about it with a loved one today or write about it, if you are still not 100% “there”

But get it out of your system

Look for help.

I hesitated to see someone for so long, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that

I believe that even those that have no issues or think they don’t, SHOULD still see someone

We can all improve our mental health, no matter what state it is in

Most of us had some sort of traumatic event happen in our lives

Whether it was a death in the family, a huge lifestyle change like mine, a bad break up, you name it!

It’s almost impossible to go through life without a scar

But scars are what make us beautiful, they make us human, they make us who we are

And it’s only once we own up to them, that we can move forward to live a beautiful life

I hope you found some comfort in my story

Feel free to email me directly to share yours at tali@fearordinary.com, or comment below

You are not alone.

Yours Truly,

Talita

 

“Don’t fear fear-face it”

Today, I’m devastated

I don’t think anything has hit me as close to home as much as the Vegas shooting

I’ll be at that hotel celebrating my birthday this year

I also lost my godmother today

I know this is a site to show how to live a happy life

But read on and maybe this will help a little

I feel the need to speak up today because I feel so sad

I feel sad to live in a world I’m scared to explore

I feel saddened today because God created this perfect world for us

And we continue to destroy it

We destroy it with pollution, we destroy it by killing animals, we destroy it by killing each other

There is so much hatred, so much hatred in this world

Why is there such little love? Is it because people don’t understand what they are living for anymore?

Or is it because faith has become extinct?

I often wonder if I’m the “silly one” or the intelligent one for believing in God

But it’s because of my belief that I feel like my life has meaning

It’s because of my belief that I treat my body like a temple

It’s because of my belief that I forgive easier and love harder

I try to give back more, even if it’s just a simple smile to someone who is having a bad day

I try to have more compassion towards others

I see everyone as equals

Now, I know I’m not perfect

But today, I’m trying to make sense of why there is so much evil in this world

Today, I’m trying to make sense for others’ actions

I wonder if things will ever change for the better or if they will only get worse for our future generation

Today, I fear for our future

Don’t you?

I fear that even talking about love, hope, fear, and compassion will be looked down upon

I fear that bringing up religion will offend someone because everyone gets offended by everything

I fear that people have truly started to lose hope

Have we lost hope?

I hope not.

You are here for a reason, you were born to make a difference in this world

You have a unique skill that nobody else has

You just have to believe in the power of good, of doing good for others, of believing in yourself

I believe it takes one person to change the world

One person that understands you don’t have to be rich to make a difference

One person that understands sometimes a hug can transform someone’s day/week/month/year

People want to feel like they belong

They want to feel accepted

They want to feel like they matter

Don’t be shy, say”hi” to a stranger tomorrow, smile, give someone a hug when introducing yourself

It’s honestly the greatest feeling in the world. Let’s not lose sight of what it is to be human.

Be Human.

Don’t fear fear- face it.

 

Yours Truly,

Talita

Fall Look 2017: Raw

                     

Hi there babes!

Holy shit, it’s been a minute- I want to apologize for the inconsistency with the blog

I took a good chunk of time off to figure out how I can be my true-raw-self and deliver only quality stuff

So for the time being, I will not be working with any clothing companies unless I already buy from them

I want everyone to see how they can still get creative with the stuff in their closet, by mixing and matching

Or by simply buying one new piece, instead of a whole new outfit for a night.

We’ll start with this outfit I’m wearing.

Shoes and shades are from Marshalls, less than $40 combined.

I love Marshalls because you never know what kind of gem you will find there.

Also note, location is key with this store. Each location carries something different (go to a fancy town near you).

Okay, but maybe you are truly interested in this off-shoulder bodysuit (if you’re my friend, you are tired of seeing it)

I got this baby at Forever21 ! >>Here’s a link<< to an off-shoulder look they have

I bought mine in the store and can’t find it online. However, they have many other beautiful ones to choose from.

P.S. This jacket is also from there. I’ve had it for YEARS and every time I wear it, I get compliments on it.

Now let’s talk sexy pencil skirt because every woman should own one

I got this beauty at Charlotte Russe. And lucky for you, I found it and it’s on SALE for $16!

CLICK HERE to check this amazing deal out.

All my life, I’ve dealt with snobby as* btchs that would lie about where they got their outfits from

So I LOVE to be able to share my fashion “secrets” with you

The secret is, there is NONE (at least not with me!).

I like to look good and stack cash, no “bloody shoes” needed. But thanks Nicki Minaj.

P.S.S. I can’t write this without sharing a little personal note. My godmother passed away today.

I’m extremely saddened by it and by what happened in Vegas yesterday. Truly devastating.

I hope everyone truly sees life as a gift because tomorrow certainly isn’t promised

Be safe out there and don’t forget to be grateful for waking up to live another day.

 

Yours Truly,

Talita

EllieActiveWear: August Box & more!

Okay-MAJOR NEWNESS going on today and a VERY exciting one, too!

As some of you ladies who follow me know, I’m an Ellie Active Wear girl fan!

I love their monthly box subscription and how they never cheat you with lame stuff you’ll never wear

They’re bomb!

But I also understand that not everyone can afford the $49.95 a month for the five items

So, why am I smiling?

I’m smiling because starting this month of August, Ellie is now offering a THREE package subscription!

You heard it right! THREE.

What this means is you get the leggings, crop top and shirt.

But not (example on this month’s box: Toning band and core discs)

And instead of paying $49.95, your subscription will go down to $39.95!

For my fitness girls that are not big on working out at home, this might fit your lifestyle better!

P.S. This is for existing or new subscribers.

Oh and by the way, this month’s outfit kind of rocks. I’ll take the white BMW, too. THX!!

But real talk- I never felt so out of shape.

School and work has been taking up all my time. I was talking to my girlfriend today who’s also a blogger

And she gave me a few tips on how to organize my life better

Long story short, I’m buying a planner from Amazon after writing this post

LOL!

P.S. This is the shirt that comes with the crop top and leggings this month.

It kind of opens a bit in the back, so you can show off your booty LOL

I secretly wanted this style for a while but I’m too lazy to actually search for it nowadays, let alone go to the mall

So YAY to Ellie for making my day today!

So if you’ve been on the fence, CLICK HERE to find what package works best for YOU.

I personally love my ab roller, toning band, and core discs. Mainly, because my workouts will be mostly at home

My gym days will be rare with the little time I’ll have

With that being said, stay tuned for my home workouts on my Instagram page 🙂

Filming them will keep me accountable and hopefully get you guys inspired to try something new.

I’ll start posting once a week!

Hope you ladies enjoyed the news this week! 😉

xx T

 

 

 

 

 

Less is more: Shop Smart

Raise your hand if you like to shop!

*hands and feet in the air*

Lately, however, I’ve been very cautious with my money

I feel it’s 10x more important to have cash in the bank than to wear a brand name

This weekend, I was talking to a girlfriend of mine about it

We both went out to eat at Papagayo (Assembly Row) and then decided to check out some stores

We didn’t really make it to store #2

Mainly because we are so used to shopping online

Who has the time and patience to wait in line, look for that specific dress or shirt out of the 100 other items?

It’s just a huge waste of time

The dress below took me 10 minutes to find. It was night time, I was in my pjs ready for bed…

Not to mention I paid PEANUTS for it!

Click HERE for the link, if you want to check it out for yourself 🙂

The material isn’t the greatest, to be very honest. But the dress looks INCREDIBLE on and is SUPER in.

For the money you are paying to purchase it, it’s a great buy

It’s also playful and fun, but the color is what got me

If you have a nice tan, this color is crazy flattering

I got a size M, and it fits like a glove. I found it to be true to size

Also, be ready to iron it- it will need it 🙂

Moral of the story: You don’t need to pay a million bucks to look and feel like a million bucks

Don’t fall for what you see online. Girls often wear expensive things to feel better about themselves

If you are confident, you don’t need to make big purchases to feel beautiful. You know you already are!

Besides, what’s truly important is what’s within.

Too many beautiful girls have a terrible personality. And that can only get them so far.

Be kind, be genuine, work on being your best version- the rest will follow.

 

If you missed the link above, CLICK HERE to check out details on this dress.

 

Have a wonderful week!

xx

T

Champagne Mama: Look of the week!

They call me “Champagne Mama” haha

No, they really don’t but that’d be HILARIOUS!

On all seriousness though, how much of a life saver is champagne if you’re into staying slim & fit?!

Did you know four ounces of champagne is roughly 90 calories? That’s less than your average glass of wine

Yes, bachelor lovers. Switch the wine to champagne next Monday and save yourselves MAD cals!

It’s worth it.

And so is this comfy sand color “champagne vibes” shirt for your brunch dates!

I suck at dressing casual, so I’ve been really trying to “up” my casual game. I mean, Ryan cannot keep up otherwise

I always look for something that represents who I am. I don’t know, it just boosts my confidence level

I mean, fashion is art after-all. And my art needs to be the shit. I’m not settling.

I can’t just wear some random shirt that says nothing I can relate to. I don’t care if it costs a grand, it’s trash to me.

Just being real.

Here’s the link to get your next favorite brunch shirt.

P.S. If you’re getting married and looking for “bridesmaid” shirts and “bride” shirts, they have them, too!!

They also have the cutest freaking mugs on the planet. I’m a sucker for mugs.

 Check them out 🙂

I feel like I need to get these next time haha!

I hope you guys enjoyed this week’s look! H

Have a safe/fun/AWESOME fourth of July weekend!!

xx