Appearance, Comparison, Self-Talk: Let’s Talk About It

Aw man, this convo is about to get lit before it even gets lit

haha

The title pretty much explains the subject I’m about to discuss

But let me break it down for you

First, let’s talk appearance because appearance will link to everything else.

And don’t you DARE tell me you’ve never compared yourself to anyone else

Because if you didn’t, you’re either lying or an alien

Pick one ;P

(I pick alien!!)

Just kidding….maybe? 😀

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We all have compared ourselves to others, don’t be ashamed- it’s totally normal!

But when do we cross the line from normal to unhealthy?

And how do we know when that line has been crossed?

Let’s talk about it, shall we?

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know I just finished reading “#GIRLBOSS

(in just 3 days. Because SO BOSS)

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#GIRLBOSS is an incredible book. If you are a female- get on it, sista!

Prior to reading #GIRLBOSS, I read “Girl Code” and  “You are a badass

Two bad.ass.books (pun intended)

And I believe they all led me to sharing my thoughts on this post with you ladies

They all have very similar advises to all “girl bosses” out there

One advise that I found needed to be shared is our reaction to other girl bosses successes

Our first reaction should be happy, proud, excited

But instead, it’s jealousy, envy, and sometimes even hatred.

Ex.: “Damn, is that btch really living overseas now with her dreamy European boyfriend?”

You get my point..

(And no, I don’t know a “btch that lives overseas with a dreamy European boyfriend”)

haha

And don’t feel bad if you HAVE felt that way before. Because GIRL, you are NOT alone

After all, we are all humans, right?

Let’s be kind to our souls here.

Unless, you picked alien up top. Then I can’t help you.

But lessbeehonest here..

Now that we are self-aware, we can change how we react towards one another!

Positive vibes lead to a positive life and same goes for negative vibes..

And I’m assuming you want the positive life.

IF SO!

Here’s what I suggest you do next time you see a girl kicking ass

CONGRATULATE HER!!!

Get genuinely excited for her. Be sure to make it a point to tell her!

And if you look up to her, ask her for advise on how she got there!

(I’ve recently done that with a blogger I admire and I was surprised she even wrote back to me! It was awesome!)

That’s women empowerment & YES, it feels so empowering to support other girl bosses!

And trust me, by doing so, you are sending the Universe a great message, a positive message.

And oh, does the Universe listen.

Remember,

We all have our time to shine, and we all have our own unique skills to share with the World

And the World is big enough to spread love to ALL OF US, with some leftovers to spare!

YES!!!

I REPEAT

THE WORLD IS BIG ENOUGH TO SPREAD LOVE TO ALL OF US AND SOME MORE!!!

I bet you never thought of success that way, did you?

And if so, you go girl!

It’s easy to get caught up on someone else’s life

But remember,

just because she’s got it, it doesn’t mean there’s nothing left for you to get.

Take the positives

And put them into action.

Fight for your own dreams and goals.

And remember,

Nothing happens overnight.

(It’s easy to forget if you’re like me and you WANT everything to happen overnight)

But remember,

You don’t know how many nights of zero sleep “that btch” had to get through- to get to where she is in Europe

And you don’t know how many dating websites she signed up for to meet her dream guy!

You don’t know!!

So the question here is..

Are you willing to put in the hours?

If you’re reading this, I am sure you are!

And if you are,

Welcome to the GIRL BOSS tribe baby! 

Time to kick some BUTT!

P.S. The way we think won’t change overnight, you’ve got to train your mind and thoughts to react differently to those situations we talked about. And you will catch yourself feeling some type of way, but when you do, think back to this post and switch your mindset. Work on a better you! And give back only positive vibes to the Universe. TAKE WHAT’S YOURS! 

Life Of An Immigrant: Step in our shoes

Imagine you are back in Middle School

You are going through a VERY awkward stage of your life a.k.a. puberty

Or maybe you “bloomed” early and skipped right through puberty

And your parents actually gave you money to get your hair done and buy nice clothes

Maybe you even had a cell phone

(nothing wrong with that!)

But let’s just think back to those days for a minute..

Because no matter what “stage” you were in..

Everyone was measuring you up

And trying to see if you were “cool” enough in their eyes.

Anyway,

You are now walking to your first class..

Everyone is starring, making comments, whispering..

“Who is that?”

“What is she wearing?”

EW!

“Are those PIMPLES in her face?!”

“Let’s cross her right off our list”

NOT cool.

*snap snap*

Fun times, right?

Now, add a different skin color and a BIG.FAT.ACCENT

Like, something that screams “I don’t belong here

You are now an immigrant in a foreign country, going through Middle School

And guess what?!

YOU CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT IT

It wasn’t your decision, but you are stuck in this foreign place where you don’t speak the language

Where your childhood friends are now just a memory, as you don’t know when you’ll see them again

I mean, those friends get you- they get your style, your weirdness, your ways

But now you gotta start over, so SNAP OUT OF IT

“TALITA? TALITA?”

(oh and by the way, your name screams “I don’t belong here” and NO ONE knows how to pronounce it)

Someone’s calling your name but you don’t know how to respond in their language

It’s your teacher

She wants you to read this chapter of the history book out loud…so everyone can hear!

So you try your best..

But you never took English classes before coming to the United States

And all you know are these words: Water (insert British accent here), dog, cat, and hello.

Now everyone starts laughing

They are not being TOO loud and obvious but you can hear them

They are kids, they don’t get what you’re going through.

But so are you.

This is only the beginning of lots of humiliations, getting made fun of..

Not to mention, you are also seeing how hurt your parents are

They are also getting humiliated by their peers at work.

And they start to wonder why they even decided to move here.

Is all this even worth it?

They HATE the fact they had to put their kids through this

But they did it for them (for you!)

They want YOU to have a better future

You can’t give up, right?

You must keep it together.

___________

Now, that was a Middle School example.

But that’s something many immigrants deal with everyday

Adults are looked at differently everyday, therefore treated poorly

Judged because they don’t look like they belong

Judged before even being spoken to

Being HUMILIATED at work by their peers because of their accents

And the list goes on.

___________

Still today, October 10th of 2016-

17 years later..

Kids are going through what I went through in school

 Being bullied, talked down on, laughed at because they are “different”

And here we are, having TRUMP as one of the candidates for President, next to Hillary.

Why do we think he’s up there?

Racism still very much exists.

I know that’s only one of the reasons people are supporting him. But you get my point.

___________

Now, answer me this:

When will everyone be treated and looked at the same?

What WORLD are we creating for our current and future generation?

When will enough, finally be enough?

__________

The point of me telling you this story comes from a quote I very much believe in..

“YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.” -Gandhi

We tend to point fingers when it comes to all the terrible things we see and hear about everyday in this World.

But if everyone started with themselves, started changing maybe one thing here and there that could

make THEM a better person. The World would ultimately start being a better place.

START WITH YOU.

🙂

“If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.” -Gandhi

I hope this helps you think differently.

It’s never too late to be a better version of ourselves.

-Talita

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Fun day shooting at Castle Island

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Hey there babes!!

I’m back with another awesome photoshoot sesh that I did with the one & only Nick!

CLICK HERE to check out his website & some of his work!

We went to Castle Island in Southie…

And this is my Southie “don’t mess with me” look

haha!

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Or maybe not..haha!

I don’t think I can have a “mean look” if I tried =\

(Although…Ryan may differ) =X

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How about this cute “meet me at the bar” shirt, though!!

I love wearing cute stuff to a workout

I find that I stay longer when I feel good about my style

Is that weird? haha

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I’m trying NOT to use the gloves all the time

But it does help with lifting heavy weights..

And by “heavy,” I mean 15 pounds (maybe!)

O=)

One day I’ll lift heavy like a superstar

Don’t believe me, just watch *insert embarrassing dance moves here*

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All jokes aside

We all gotta start somewhere

And seeing the slightest improvement helps to keep us motivated

Don’t you think!?

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It’s always important to celebrate the small wins, just as much as the big wins 😉

Winning is winning- after all

😉

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Anyway!

Hope you guys enjoyed the photos!

I couldn’t post all on here for some reason- so I’ll share others on my IG 🙂

Happy Monday!!!

Stay Beautiful!

-Talita

New chapter: How to find your true passion

Staying motivated is easier said than done

A lot of us always hear the secret to success is to “stay motivated, not give up, and keep positive”

But we are human beings

And it’s important to remind ourselves of that.

 Feelings come in all shapes and sizes.. and we are allowed to feel them all.

YAAAS..

We are allowed.

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However, challenges and obstacles attract a lot of negative feelings

And those feelings sometimes will get in the way of us staying positive, motivated  and driven.

SO..

Because today was the day my team took me out to celebrate my new role/chapter of my career

I wanted to share with you guys what has kept me in “check”

What has kept me motivated

Why I didn’t give up & remained positive.

____________

(1)

SUPPORT SYSTEM

What is more important than a SOLID support system?

NOTHING.

A good support system will keep you grounded

In times you want to give up, it’s important to have someone to vent to

We all need that. And it’s okay to ask for help.

____________

(2)

“KNOW THE WHY”

It’s important in difficult times to remind ourselves why we still need to continue fighting

Maybe it’s because you have bills that need to be paid

Maybe it’s because you are so close to reaching your goals

KNOW your reason for doing what you are doing

And remind yourself EVERYDAY.

What’s your “why?”

knowledge is power

___________

(3)

RESOURCES

What’s helped me stay motivated is reading

I have read some INCREDIBLE books throughout my career

When I felt that I could do better, I asked and researched many books to keep my passion alive

My favorite book so far on how to be a great manager is called “Monday Morning Mentoring

This book changed my life

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Before I came across it, I was in a place of very little faith in my career

I had met only people who wanted to step on me

People that wanted my position and tried with all their power to make me quit

It was very HARD to remind myself of “the why” everyday..

But once I read this book, I found my reasons again.

And today, after hearing all the positive feedback from my team..

I can say I’m closing this career path of management with zero regrets

I have learned so much about who I am through managing others

I learned to fight for what I believe in

I’ve learned to encourage others to be the best version of themselves everyday

And I truly couldn’t be happier

It gives me great pleasure knowing  I was able to make a difference in someone’s life.

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Lastly, I want to end this post with the above quote.

It’s when you put other people’s needs aside

And focus on yourself -that you find your true passion.

Focus less on what others want

And more on what makes YOU happy.

Get away from the noise every now & then..

Find a quiet place

And be alone with your thoughts.

That’s when you will hear the voice within.

BostonBloggers

-Talita

 

Are you for real?

Let me start by saying, being a woman isn’t easy

Not to say being a guy isn’t either (but I can’t speak for a guy- for obvious reasons)

LOL

Women are held to such high standards, not counting the standards we have for ourselves

(which are EXTREMELY high)

In today’s “social media generation”, we are no longer even looking at reality

We look at filters, photo-shop, and many other apps that make people look “different” than they are

And we think to ourselves, WHAT THE F?!

“Why is my skin not like a baby’s butt?”

“Why does my butt not look like Kim K’s?

“Why are my lips not like…?”

“Look, this girl is drinking that skinny tea detox and her stomach is so flat!”

hahaha!

It sounds silly, doesn’t it?

I think we all need to take a step back and realize that we are living in a time where anyone can be whoever they want

(whoever they want ONLINE, that is)

Anyone can fake anything they want on social media

HECK- if I wanted Kim K’s butt, there’s an app for that!

It would take me 2 seconds to do it- and upload it on my instagram page

If you don’t know me, you wouldn’t know!

Right?!

Don’t get caught up on “FAKE MEDIA”

Believe ONLY what you see with your OWN eyes.

With that being said, I wanted to start a trend

(Or maybe I’ll be the only person posting this- which is also fine)

🙂

Because if you want to see change, you must start with yourself.

This is me, without any make-up on

I have flaws just like any other human being

I don’t like every part of my body just like any human being

I struggle to feel comfortable with myself sometimes

But at the end of the day, I love the person that I am

I love my flaws, my imperfections

Because all of those things make me who I am.

OWN YOUR IMPERFECTIONS.

me

I wish more people would be up-front about their lives

Specially, those exposing their lives to social media like I am.

So many people feel the need to live up to them and think that’s how they should look

Women feel pressured enough without any help

How about we promote a sense of POWER to one another?

How about we UP-LIFT one another?

How about we stop COMPETING and start EMPOWERING one another?

Women should empower women.

Not the other way around.

We are all beautiful in our own unique way.

Embrace the YOU that only YOU can offer

And most importantly, before worrying about how you look on the outside

Work on how you are on the INSIDE

Because BEAUTY truly comes from within

BostonBloggers

-Talita

A woman knows a skirt-chaser: Stay Classy

Don’t we all know a skirt-chaser?

Thousands of years before our time, men were the same as they are today

The difference is today everything is SO EASY

You go online, you find a date in a matter of seconds (not necessarily your dream date, but you do) lol!

That fun “chase” is now becoming extremely rare

Women are getting desperate, and settling..

Men are doing the same

Traditions are getting lost

And only a few old-fashioned folks remain.

I may not dress old-fashioned all the time

(probably rarely)

haha!

But my mindset remains very traditional

I won’t go on talking about my traditions because we all have our own beliefs

But as far as dating, I think it’s important to value ourselves as women..

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Our body is our soul- we should cherish it and treat it with respect

Some men will truly love you like you deserve to be loved

But many just want to “fool around”

Know the difference.

Women are emotional beings

You may THINK you can go around acting like men do

But deep down it’s destroying you

You lose trust, you lose your self-worth, and essentially you stop having the same standards you did before..

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Know when to walk away- with grace

Think of yourself as a diamond

Not everyone can afford a diamond but many can afford a synthetic diamond

Which would you like to be known as?

sheinskirts

And finally,

know that you deserve happiness.

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And that happiness comes from within..

Not from another being.

sheinofficialskirt

“The BEST relationship you will EVER have is the one you have with yourself.”

LOOK DETAILS:

CLICK HERE to get this AMAZEE skirt!

CLICK HERE for the site for other skirts & looks.

You can use it with a similar top like mine or a crop top

(my top is from WHITE HOUSE|BLACK MARKET)

And my loafers are from Coach 🙂

BostonBloggers

-Talita

Look of the week: Are you a choker girl?

Haha! I couldn’t help myself with that title 😉

But by now, you know I’m full of wise comments!!

For real though..

I’m a choker girl

And this choker I got at AMAZON got me like..

“Where we going tonight?!! Cause I have a choker to wear”

hahaha!

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CLICK HERE to get the same choker.

charlotterusseltop

CLICK HERE for a similar crop top look.

museum

BTW- How COOL is this museum?! Cool & scary, actually. haha! I was afraid to walk in.

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I did touch the door knob though, so that kind of counts, right? LOL!!!

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I also discovered these cool stairs! =O)

It really made me think of how much SOO MANY people have suffered due to being “different.”

LOVE IS LOVE, damn it!

I hope one day we can all see each other as brothers and sisters, no matter our color, religion

or beliefs.

I’ve gone through a lot due to being “different.”

I was bullied in school and talked down on because I looked different or maybe had an accent

It took me many years to feel confident again due to the comments of others..

When are people going to stop being so cruel?

This world is getting scarier and scarier- everyday.

My situation is nothing compared to what is going on today.

But it does make me sad to think of so many people continuing to suffer everyday,

and go through similar things I’ve gone through or worse.

The thought of people committing suicide due to others comments make me sick to my stomach.

I hope one day all this hatred ends & only love remains.

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But if you’re reading this & you are going through a lot..

Remember, you are not alone.

And those that hurt others, only do it because they are broken

Ignore their comments, or go talk to someone that can help.

It’s ok to ask for help

We can’t do it all alone

And it’s only by speaking up that we can make a difference.

BostonBloggers

-Talita

What to expect when taking your first Barre class…

Barre so hard, my clock broke!

LOL!

GUYS! I took my FIRST barre class this Sunday at the CUTESTTT spot!!

“Barre & Soul” in Melrose

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Amy was the instructor and she made the experience extra great!

She made sure to introduce herself to everyone individually

and she REMEMBERED my name! *insert shocked face here*

FOR REAL!

Talita is such an unusual name! No one remembers it =(

Don’t get me wrong

It was THE HARDEST class I’ve ever taken

But I am truly considering taking it full time!

It’s a KILLER full body workout

And I fell in LOVE with the “barre community!”

Everyone is so supportive of one another

The atmosphere is amazing

And I love how it helps you work on your body AND soul

hence.. “Barre & Soul” 😉

Amy had a  GREAT quote for us before class began

“In sweet times in life, say thank you and celebrate. In bitter times in life, say thank you and grow.”

I mean, this quote was everything.

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I feel like so many people can relate to finding balance in their life

And so many people want to live a healthy or healthier lifestyle.

Barre to me is the balance between the two.

We also went to the cutest shop in Melrose right after class for some wine tasting.

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I got this AMAZE wine called “NEW AGE” from Argentina!

So yum guys.. I love fruity wine. It’s sweet, fruity and delicious.

YOU NEED TO TRY IT!

🙂

cards

I also found this AWESOME card..

I mean, come on! hahaha

By the way, as I am typing this.. MAJOR bad hair day LOL!!

I went brunette again today, so I am letting my hair air dry.

I’ll take pictures tomorrow at this new event.

I can’t wait to share with you guys!

Check out: BARRE&SOUL here.

BostonBloggers

Namaste!

-Talita

How to plan your next surprise party

Hiii lovelies, so about a week ago I posted about surprising Mr. Ryan

for his 30th!! He didn’t really want anything but I am HUGE on birthdays.

Like- I take a week off every year for my bday *HUGE*

haha!

I also LOVE planning *insert anything here*

So planning his surprise party was so much fun for me.

Here’s how you can plan a successful surprise party for your boo:

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STEP 1: Plan a month ahead!

The older you get, the more difficult it is to get people together.

(Even for birthdays)

So planning ahead will give everyone & yourself time to plan accordingly.

STEP 2: Guest list?

Find out who’s willing to come out to celebrate and if they are willing to travel.

STEP 3: What & Where?

What are you doing and where.

I decided to do something different for Ry. I knew he never celebrated at Foxwoods before.

So I asked all his friends if they were willing to drive there.

And if the specific day I was planning would be doable for everyone.

STEP 4: Make a reservation!

Make a reservation WAY ahead of time.

You don’t want to be stuck on “plan b” due to poor planning.

Refer to Step 1 for reasons why.

STEP 5: Play the role

Step 5 is the most difficult, or at least it is for me.

I suck at lying but I had to play the role until his surprise party.

I was texting and talking to his friends but I couldn’t tell him!

I had to make him believe we were going away alone.

When we arrived at the hotel, I hardly looked at my phone.

Looking at your phone all the time is suspicious.

I did it once and told him I was speaking to one of my girlfriends about “xyz.”

It’s also important to let the door man know ahead of time that it’s a surprise.

You don’t want to go through all that work and have it ruined seconds before.

Play it cool, go with the flow and have fun with it  😉

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It was worth all the planning seeing him happy and enjoying time with his friends.

We had an amazing night at Scorpion Bar, Foxwoods.

I made dinner reservations and then we stayed for the night.

A huge UFC fight was playing- so half the crowd was watching it.

And the other half was at the dance floor.

Everyone had an amazing time.

=)

I hope this is helpful for your next surprise party planning;)

Any questions or tips, please share.

BostonBloggers

-Talita

How to Accept REAL happiness?

Let’s talk about what’s real at Fear Ordinary.

blockisland

Online, we see so much “real” happiness, “real” relationships, “real” moments.

But how real are they really?

A BIG part of the reason many people are depressed today is due to social media.

Social media perceives this image of, what shall I call it? Perfection?

Everyone’s lives online is perfect, right?

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Think about the stuff you post.

Are they of you having a mini break down after a long work week?

Are any of them of you arguing with your boyfriend about xyz?

Or of your kids acting up?

I didn’t think so.

The first step to truly feeling 200% comfortable in your own life..

is to stop comparing your life to others.

Back in the day, people compared their lives to their neighbors.

Today, people compare it to a complete stranger on instagram or facebook.

How crazy is that?

It’s hard not to compare your life to others but you must accept that your journey

is different from John Smith’s, so is your destiny and your gift(s).

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Learn to LOVE your life by making time to do the things you love

I love to travel (so I make plans to have at least 1 big trip every year)

I love to look great (so I make time to workout and eat healthy)

I love NATURE, so I always try to be outdoors.

The above automatically makes me happy.

What makes you happy?

It also helps to plan your time spent online.

I know of people who can’t enjoy a day with their loved ones without

checking their phones CONSTANTLY

You don’t want to be online all day and night..

Not having a productive day makes you feel down

Not being present is something you will regret

Not to mention, an unproductive day is a day wasted.

Instead, go out there and make your day GREAT

And if life gets in the way, try again!!

Find your motivation

Find your drive

Your life goal

FOCUS on YOUR happiness

Not someone else’s.

Aside from the above, here are some basic things that

has been proven to make most people live a better life:

  1. Sleep
  2. Comfortable Income Stream
  3.  Exercise
  4. Eat Healthy

No shit, right? haha! They are obvious and some I’ve mentioned before.

But it’s good for us to take a moment to remind ourselves.

🙂

Hope you had an amazing 4th of July weekend.

Above are some pictures from mine.

This week my focus is my happiness. 

Because we all need a reminder of what’s important. 😉

Hope you enjoy my “Sunday Night Thoughts”

Happy Living! xx

BostonBloggers

-Talita