What is Black Mirror?

What is “Black Mirror”?

I watch t.v maybe 3 hours a week, two shows max and I’m hooked on this series!

This show speaks to our generation about the problems we are facing

Specifically, technology/social media.

We live in a generation where our “worth” is calculated by the number of “likes” we get on our pictures, and statuses.

We have turned ourselves into slaves of technology.

We spend most of our time online, completely “checked out” from reality, living someone else’s life. Why? Only to escape ours.

Some of us are willing to buy fake followers and likes JUST to feel valued as human beings! When is enough enough?

Black Mirror now has four seasons. Each episode is different and extremely intriguing. It’s sure to get your mind thinking.

I think it’s a “must-see” for a few reasons:

  • We are essentially forgetting what a real connection is and what it feels like
  • We can’t sit with someone for more than five minutes without checking our phones, maybe less than five if God forbid the phone buzzes during dinner
  • We look up to people we never met, instead of real people we interact with
  • Relationships are being RUINED by a virtual world
  • Our attention span has shortened because we aren’t fully invested in the “now.”

The list goes on…

We’ve never been so “off,” so robotic, so disconnected

Years from now, we will look back and wonder why we wasted so much time not living

If we don’t change, we will become known as “the generation of regrets.”

I hope this series helps people understand the consequences of their actions

I hope they start “disconnecting” so they can finally connect.

I hope we all stop existing, and start living.

 

-Talita

 

Red Carpet N.Y.E event: Boston

RED CARPET N.Y.E EVENT

New Years is JUST around the corner!

I’m not going to lie, every year it gets harder to find a great spot to celebrate

As I get older, I’m all about socializing with interesting/fun people

And this year, I FINALLY found the perfect event to do just that!

This New Years event will be hosted by Miss Massachusetts

But what I love the most about this particular event is how it will not only

be a great celebratory event for entrepreneurs in Boston. But it will also be

a great opportunity to mingle with some of Boston’s most prominent leaders.

I’m talking a broad amount of industries, from tech, to philanthropy, to social

good. Many non-profits leaders use this event to attend with their donors.

As well as, their supporters– to celebrate the amazing milestones they achieved.

This year, they will have a Red Carpet Black Tie event for New Years Eve.

And they will have some of Boston’s TOP entrepreneurs in the Fashion industry

This event will be curated with a “James Bond” theme

The theme will highlight the synergy between that iconic brand & the evening.

Oh, and because you follow my blog–

You get a special discount by clicking the link below!

The 10th Annual Timeless Black Tie Party

I hope to see you all there 🙂

-Talita

Tips to control anxiety

Tips to control anxiety

 

It’s CLEARLY “that” time of the year again

The time we have a million gifts to buy and 100 parties to attend

Not to mention, our day-to-day activities (gym, work, school)

It’s no wonder my anxiety level went 0 to 100 real quick!

Balance is key for me, but extremely hard to find this time of the year

Can you relate?

So, with 2018 around the corner… (I can’t believe it either)

I decided to worry only about what I CAN control

With anxiety, I had to break it down by asking myself some hard questions:

“Why do I get stressed more so this time of the year than any other month?”

“What activities are causing me stress and why?”

“What can I do to change them? Is it something I can control?”

Reflecting and gathering information helped tremendously

Now I knew what my top 2 causes of stress were

Time management and holiday budget planning

Both my causes of stress were due to lack of planning

Which ultimately funneled down to lack of organization on my end

Planning can be controlled, so I checked these off as something I can work on

So what’s the solution?

2018 Planner from CVS Pharmacy

I actually found the same brand on Amazon for my prime lovers

CLICK HERE for the link

Simple, right?!

This planner has helped me stay in control and not let events control me

Some of you may be thinking, “why not google calendar?”

I’ve tried using phone apps, google calendar, ever note, outlook. You name it!

I found that I’m more engaged when I write things down on paper

I commit to it in writing and I deliver it

The first thing I do in the morning is check my planner

(P.S. Even though it’s “2018,” they have the last few months of the year 2017 included to get you started!)

I check to see how may day is going to go, what to expect, what I need, etc…

It’s just more “real” to me

Just like books, I need to hold a real book in my hand to read

I want to notice the smell of the pages & stack them up in a book shelf

I know not everyone is old-fashioned like me, but I love it!

 

In a world that is getting so advanced in technology, I need to feel more human

And less robotic

I feel it’s important to go back to the basics, sometimes

Like having a full on conversation at a dinner table without checking our phones

Or writing a letter to a friend, just because.

Whenever I look back to when I was younger, that’s what I miss

I don’t think I’ll ever look back and say I miss getting text messages

It’s so effortless, it doesn’t need much thought

I’m super old-school you guys! It’s insane.

But back to anxiety. I hope these tips will help you get control back

Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and think there’s no solution

We make the mistake to assume there is no solution to the problem

Next time your mind tries tricking you, just remember the above steps!

 

Happy Practical Happiness Advice Sunday!

🙂

Talita

The Confidence Gap

Hey guys-

Last week, I finished reading “The Confidence Gap” by Russ Harris

I want to talk about it with you because this book got rid of MANY myths for me

Including the myth that “confidence is something you are born with”

Umm.. say what?!

When I got my first “real” big girl job, I knew NOTHING about it

I walked in my first day scared shitless

Six months later, I walked in like I owned the place

What changed?

I learned, practiced, and took immediate action

Confidence comes AFTER we put in the work, not before

So what does this mean?

Waiting to do something until we “feel confident” makes zero sense

Next time your mind tricks you into thinking that way–acknowledge it

But then tell yourself, “I will only gain confidence by taking action first”

I’ve also learned I act out of emotion a lot

Let me explain…

Let’s say it’s Friday, I had the longest week and feel exhausted

SO naturally, I tell myself I’m too tired to go workout

Well, as much as we all have the right to skip a workout here & there

Making constant excuses out of emotion can be an issue

Since reading this book- my goals are greater than my emotions

I focus on what matters: my values (you will learn your values after reading it)

It’s an amazing feeling to be in control or to know you CAN be

If this sparks your interest- click here

It’s also a great gift to give to someone this holiday season! 🙂

 

xx

Talita

Bucket list of joy

Once upon a time…

The Holidays were the happiest time of the year for me

I think a lot of my readers can relate to a time they felt the same

Every year since I moved to the United States, all I’ve done is feel sorry for myself

Every end of November is a reminder of what I no longer have

A huge family to celebrate the holidays with like I used to growing up.

This year, you could say it’s a bit worse

My mom/best friend won’t be here this year either

She traveled to Brasil to be with her mom, brothers and sisters

But I want to change my mindset this year and challenge you to do the same

We can’t change what’s changed (pun-intended)

HOWEVER, we CAN start new traditions

Start new traditions to look forward to that fit your CURRENT life

Because everyone deserves to feel joy this time of the year!

So here are some new traditions I will start this year

Let’s call it my Holiday Bucket List of Joy:

  • Try a holiday baking recipe every year!
  • Go to at least ONE holiday party that a friend throws (no exceptions!)
  • Donate to a homeless shelter or volunteer
  • Invite TWO people in your life to see one Christmas movie at the theaters
  • Wear Christmas PJ’S on Christmas morning or Christmas Eve
  • Go to Mass and thank God for all your blessings (at least once)

YES! So the plan is to have this list on my fridge as a daily reminder

And also, so I can check it off as I complete my traditions.

Obviously, yours may be different than mine

Or you may like what I have.

Either way, I hope this year- you transform your thinking and find joy.

(above pictures from Legacy Place in Dedham)

Great shopping plaza 😉

xx

Talita

 

World Mental Health Day: My story

Today is World Mental Health Day

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Did you know 1 in 5 Adults have a mental health condition?

Youth health is also worsening, and 80% of them are left with no or insufficient treatment

When I was about eleven years old, I moved to the U.S. with my parents and six-year-old brother

We moved here with nothing but the clothes we had on

Everything and everyone we knew were a 12 hour flight away

We also didn’t speak the language or know much about this new culture

My dad’s third cousin which he had never met, helped us by giving us shelter at her place for three months

In those three months, she made our lives living hell.

She wouldn’t let us look out the window or leave the house

She’d say we would get deported back home if we stepped outside

We had a VISA to stay at the time but didn’t know any better

This was a new world for us, and the most vulnerable we’ve ever been

Then, my parents finally found a place to rent and found a job

That was when I was left alone to take care of my six-year-old brother for the first time in my life

Soon I started having anxiety and panic attacks

I remember feeling my heart beating so fast I thought it was going to explode

I felt like I was going to die

I can’t explain the awful feeling I felt many nights a week and how many calls my mom had to take from me

My poor mom had to talk me out of a panic attack every call

Until finally, it started to not be so bad

But I still deal with anxiety to this day. And thanks to my amazing mom’s support, I no longer have panic attacks

The reason I’m sharing this is because I’m not ashamed to be human

And neither should you be

Talk about it with a loved one today or write about it, if you are still not 100% “there”

But get it out of your system

Look for help.

I hesitated to see someone for so long, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that

I believe that even those that have no issues or think they don’t, SHOULD still see someone

We can all improve our mental health, no matter what state it is in

Most of us had some sort of traumatic event happen in our lives

Whether it was a death in the family, a huge lifestyle change like mine, a bad break up, you name it!

It’s almost impossible to go through life without a scar

But scars are what make us beautiful, they make us human, they make us who we are

And it’s only once we own up to them, that we can move forward to live a beautiful life

I hope you found some comfort in my story

Feel free to email me directly to share yours at tali@fearordinary.com, or comment below

You are not alone.

Yours Truly,

Talita

 

“Don’t fear fear-face it”

Today, I’m devastated

I don’t think anything has hit me as close to home as much as the Vegas shooting

I’ll be at that hotel celebrating my birthday this year

I also lost my godmother today

I know this is a site to show how to live a happy life

But read on and maybe this will help a little

I feel the need to speak up today because I feel so sad

I feel sad to live in a world I’m scared to explore

I feel saddened today because God created this perfect world for us

And we continue to destroy it

We destroy it with pollution, we destroy it by killing animals, we destroy it by killing each other

There is so much hatred, so much hatred in this world

Why is there such little love? Is it because people don’t understand what they are living for anymore?

Or is it because faith has become extinct?

I often wonder if I’m the “silly one” or the intelligent one for believing in God

But it’s because of my belief that I feel like my life has meaning

It’s because of my belief that I treat my body like a temple

It’s because of my belief that I forgive easier and love harder

I try to give back more, even if it’s just a simple smile to someone who is having a bad day

I try to have more compassion towards others

I see everyone as equals

Now, I know I’m not perfect

But today, I’m trying to make sense of why there is so much evil in this world

Today, I’m trying to make sense for others’ actions

I wonder if things will ever change for the better or if they will only get worse for our future generation

Today, I fear for our future

Don’t you?

I fear that even talking about love, hope, fear, and compassion will be looked down upon

I fear that bringing up religion will offend someone because everyone gets offended by everything

I fear that people have truly started to lose hope

Have we lost hope?

I hope not.

You are here for a reason, you were born to make a difference in this world

You have a unique skill that nobody else has

You just have to believe in the power of good, of doing good for others, of believing in yourself

I believe it takes one person to change the world

One person that understands you don’t have to be rich to make a difference

One person that understands sometimes a hug can transform someone’s day/week/month/year

People want to feel like they belong

They want to feel accepted

They want to feel like they matter

Don’t be shy, say”hi” to a stranger tomorrow, smile, give someone a hug when introducing yourself

It’s honestly the greatest feeling in the world. Let’s not lose sight of what it is to be human.

Be Human.

Don’t fear fear- face it.

 

Yours Truly,

Talita

Body Image: How to overcome it

Dear you, make peace with the mirror and watch your reflection change.

 

Today, I would like to talk about body image.

The way we see ourselves in the mirror every morning/night has a lot to do with our mental state

Many women today are influenced by their definition of what’s “beautiful” by social media, and life influences..

Once upon a time, in the 90’s, “heroine chic” was in, anyone that looked skinny AF was attractive

So if you didn’t have the “heroine chic” look, you starved yourself everyday or binge ate and purge to “fit in.”

But heroine chic all of a sudden wasn’t attractive anymore. That fever was FINITO.

To be perceived as “attractive” you now had to have curves.

And all those girls now started eating more, under-going surgeries to get curves they didn’t have, or committed suicide because they didn’t see a way they could fit in with society anymore.

I don’t think I need to explain here why this is sickening

I also don’t need to explain that the world’s view of what’s attractive will not always be the same as today’s’, it will continue to change- as it has throughout the years.

But for some reason, girls aren’t seeing the whole picture and men are buying into the fake girls on Instagram

We are all idolizing the wrong things and the end result, most are not happy with what they have

The girls think what they see on the internet is real or if they know it’s fake, a lot of times they can’t afford it

The guys see these chicks online everyday and feel like that’s what every girl needs to look like or they’re all set

I’ve personally been told I don’t look good enough because this guy I was dating years ago was obsessed with checking out these Instagram girls /reality tv shows with girls who looked far from real and he eventually forgot what he originally liked about me. I was no longer viewed as “pretty” or “beautiful” next to those girls.

Oh and since, he hasn’t found this “ideal girl” he had in his mind

It’s honestly sickening how much we’ve all become so self-absorbed on what’s outside

So much so that most of us forget to work on what’s inside

I love running into girls that work on themselves, girls that care about things greater than themselves

Girls that work on their souls, minds, mental health & well-being

Those are the type of girls that offer substance & VALUE to their friendships and relationships

Ultimately, when we stop obsessing over ourselves is when we find fulfillment and happiness

We don’t even think about being depressed because we are so aware of what is going on in the World

So many people have never seen SHOWERS or apartments in their lives

We have EVERYTHING and yet we complain that life isn’t great because our butt isn’t big enough

One day, we will look back and wish we could have put our time to better use

Only when we realize and focus on what TRULY matters, is when we will start living a life far from ordinary

Only when we stop focusing on material things and start helping others is when we will find true happiness.

Now I get asked all the time if I am a bit too obsessed with fitness and if that goes against what I preach

Here’s my answer to those wondering:

I work on self-development every single day but part of living a long healthy life to me is taking care of myself

I don’t think it’s wrong to feel good mentally & physically, as long as you are doing it for YOU and not for approval

I’ve come a long way when it comes to doing things for me and not for others. And I am proud to say I am in a great place where I found a balance between the two that is not obsessive.

And yes, I feel it’s crucial for all of us to find our own balances

As I always say, “DO YOU, BLOCK THE NOISE, DRINK CHAMPAGNE.

Sometimes less is more. In this case, the less you care about what others think of you, the more pleasure you will find in living. Be you, be authentic, and make a difference.

P.S. If you like what I’m wearing, >>CLICK HERE<< to get more info!

 

I hope you ladies found this subject helpful!

Please share your experiences or thoughts if you have any 🙂

xx

T

 

 

 

Balance: Business & Pleasure

2017-05-16 00.18.57

Let’s talk life balance today. Because business and pleasure, please!

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I’ve had a job since I was legally able to work in the U.S (age: 16 years old)

After graduating High School, I needed more than a PT job to pay the bills though

So “adulting” began in the summer of ’06

I found a full-time job and turned it into a career of now twelve years

And throughout those twelve years, I’ve learned a thing or two on work/life balance

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Don’t let those twelve years fool you though!

Although, I’ve been managing the work/life balance since ’06. It wasn’t that long ago since I finally mastered it.

That’s right. It’s truly taking me quite a bit of time to figure the solution we all seek

So let me start you guys off by the root of the problem or at least the root of MY problems

And hopefully you can relate and start making some changes to improve your lifestyle

___________________________________________________________________________________________

These were the things that kept me from achieving a work/life balance I so desired:

___________________________________________________________________________________________

  1. I NEVER said “no.”

I’d come home from work, exhausted AF and I’d get a text from a friend asking to grab dinner/drinks that night and I’d say yes! I’d say yes without thinking twice about it.

If you want to have balance, you must learn when to say NO.

Learn HOW & WHEN to say no, so you can focus on you and other tasks that are important to you. Be selfish, sometimes. It is OK!!!

This was such a huge lifestyle change for me and made me feel so much lighter.

It truly gave me back time I never thought I had. And allowed me to focus more on my goals & what needed to get done.

2. Communicate!

Learn to speak up about your challenges with the people you care about.

My boyfriend and I understand our schedules and what’s important to us.

We both workout 4-5 times a week, we work 9-5 jobs.

Therefore, we mostly see each other on weekends. And maybe once a week.

We get it and we understand it.

Supporting each others’ hobbies is what has made our relationship strong.

Same goes with my friendships. We all have different schedules but we still maintain a tight friendship.

We don’t see each other every weekend but we are there for one another.

Communicate the “why” and those who matter, will understand.

But make it a point to see your friends, too.

My friends and I see each other at least once or twice a month. Don’t disappear.

Which brings me to my next point…

3. Plan your month out

Planning your month out will leave you with much less anxiety about not being there for your friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend.

Let them know you need a month’s notice with your schedule to make sure you can be there for them.

This gives you time to plan around those events, and also give yourself some “me” time.

Not to mention, it takes away all that stress from “not knowing” and not planning.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

And finally, don’t overwhelm yourself or be too hard on yourself because you are busy trying to build the life of your dreams!

There is nothing wrong with that!

Finding the right balance that fits YOUR life can take time.

But if you learn to say no, communicate and plan ahead. You will be just fine. 🙂

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Hope these tips are helpful to your new lifestyle change!

Time is priceless, don’t abuse it and give it your utmost attention.

xx

-T

Transparency: Discover your RAW self again!

Look at me smiling from the inside out in the picture above

And ask yourself, “When was the last time I truly felt deep/meaningful happiness?”

Like the type that you almost feel like you want to cry from finally arriving to that state of mind

_____________________

Today, I want to share a little more about me with you

And I want to thank Ellie Active Wear for actually giving me the inspiration to do so.

A few days ago, I was going back and forth with the representative of Ellie

You know, we were talking details, such as when my box will arrive and what to expect (stay tuned for more deetz)

And the representative was telling me every detail because they pride on TRANSPARENCY

They want their clients to KNOW what they are getting

And not hide any changes or details that might surprise them

I thought that was very cool and this week, it just so happens “transparency” came up a lot

I don’t know if it was just because that word was already on my mind about Ellie Active Wear

Or if it was pure coincidence!

But I had back to back meetings this week

On Monday, I met my new boss and he used that word pretty often when describing his way of managing

On Tuesday (yesterday), I had an all day meeting in Boston with the top leadership team

And again, that word came up a lot

And it got me to thinking, “How TRUE to myself am I everyday?

How authentic am I being around my colleagues, friends, family, clients?

And, “Is that adding or removing stress from my day-to-day life?”

When you’re not being your authentic self, you are not fooling anyone but yourself

The joke is really on you

Why? Because you’re the one suffering. You’re the one stressing and you don’t even realize why

You don’t recognize the cause because you’ve been acting for so long!

We were brought up to believe we have to act a certain way to please people around us

We have to say, look, and act a certain way to be loved, to FEEL loved

We get caught up in what Miguel Ruiz from “The Four Agreements” would say, in our own “hell”

Yes, those are harsh words to describe where MOST of us are living today

(I don’t care how much money you have, how successful you are. Your mansion isn’t bringing you true happiness)

Think about the last time you didn’t care ONCE in an entire day of what someone thought of you?

Man, I don’t even think I can say I lived a day without worrying about it at least once

And that’s after being AWARE of my own “HELL”

You LIVE to please others and forget to please yourself.

And the sickening part is we think that’s normal!

_________________

After reading “The Four Agreements”, it brought a lot of things to light for me

Its made me more aware of my day-to-day actions that led to unhappiness

And it is molding me back to my five-year old self

Remember when you were five?

Did you care what anyone thought?

You were FREE, genuinely happy, didn’t listen to other’s opinions of you because you believed in your own

You were your true AUTHENTIC self

I know what you are thinking

“Talita, I was five. I didn’t have a job or a single worry in the World. How can I come to that same happiness now?”

WELL, Mr. or Ms. reader, you are absolutely right!

Life today versus life when you and I were 5 has DRASTICALLY changed

However, that happiness and being authentic to self is still very much attainable!

I am living proof that my happiness rate has RAISED to a different level after I understood “The Four Agreements

Don’t believe me?

Please pick up the book and read it

Find out more about this small tease I just wrote

I want you to understand why life is so difficult for you today

And how you CAN turn it around by simply changing FOUR things.

_______________

Thank you Ellie Active Wear for this inspiration through our brief email exchange

And guys, please check out Ellie Active Wear for your monthly box of gym-wear goodies!

Above is an example of May’s Box which were alternate items to promote everyone’s uniqueness

It comes with 5 workout items every month

This month, I got an arm phone holder, stress balls, those ridiculously amazing leggings, sports bra & shirt

Guess for how much?!

ONLY $49.95 a month

And you can cancel or skip any month!

As you all know, fitness is a huge passion of mine. But staying motivated is hard, even for me!

A cute box full of amazing gym goodies will get any girl excited to show their new gym-wear off 😉

_________________________

Find them on Instagram: @EllieActiveWear

Or check out their site HERE.

Til next time my loves!

xx

T