Aw man, this convo is about to get lit before it even gets lit
The title pretty much explains the subject I’m about to discuss
But let me break it down for you
First, let’s talk appearance because appearance will link to everything else.
And don’t you DARE tell me you’ve never compared yourself to anyone else
Because if you didn’t, you’re either lying or an alien
Pick one ;P
(I pick alien!!)
Just kidding….maybe? 😀
We all have compared ourselves to others, don’t be ashamed- it’s totally normal!
But when do we cross the line from normal to unhealthy?
And how do we know when that line has been crossed?
Let’s talk about it, shall we?
If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know I just finished reading “#GIRLBOSS“
(in just 3 days. Because SO BOSS)
#GIRLBOSS is an incredible book. If you are a female- get on it, sista!
Prior to reading #GIRLBOSS, I read “Girl Code” and “You are a badass“
Two bad.ass.books (pun intended)
And I believe they all led me to sharing my thoughts on this post with you ladies
They all have very similar advises to all “girl bosses” out there
One advise that I found needed to be shared is our reaction to other girl bosses successes
Our first reaction should be happy, proud, excited
But instead, it’s jealousy, envy, and sometimes even hatred.
Ex.: “Damn, is that btch really living overseas now with her dreamy European boyfriend?”
You get my point..
(And no, I don’t know a “btch that lives overseas with a dreamy European boyfriend”)
And don’t feel bad if you HAVE felt that way before. Because GIRL, you are NOT alone
After all, we are all humans, right?
Let’s be kind to our souls here.
Unless, you picked alien up top. Then I can’t help you.
But lessbeehonest here..
Now that we are self-aware, we can change how we react towards one another!
Positive vibes lead to a positive life and same goes for negative vibes..
And I’m assuming you want the positive life.
Here’s what I suggest you do next time you see a girl kicking ass
Get genuinely excited for her. Be sure to make it a point to tell her!
And if you look up to her, ask her for advise on how she got there!
(I’ve recently done that with a blogger I admire and I was surprised she even wrote back to me! It was awesome!)
That’s women empowerment & YES, it feels so empowering to support other girl bosses!
And trust me, by doing so, you are sending the Universe a great message, a positive message.
And oh, does the Universe listen.
We all have our time to shine, and we all have our own unique skills to share with the World
And the World is big enough to spread love to ALL OF US, with some leftovers to spare!
THE WORLD IS BIG ENOUGH TO SPREAD LOVE TO ALL OF US AND SOME MORE!!!
I bet you never thought of success that way, did you?
And if so, you go girl!
It’s easy to get caught up on someone else’s life
just because she’s got it, it doesn’t mean there’s nothing left for you to get.
Take the positives
And put them into action.
Fight for your own dreams and goals.
Nothing happens overnight.
(It’s easy to forget if you’re like me and you WANT everything to happen overnight)
You don’t know how many nights of zero sleep “that btch” had to get through- to get to where she is in Europe
And you don’t know how many dating websites she signed up for to meet her dream guy!
You don’t know!!
So the question here is..
Are you willing to put in the hours?
If you’re reading this, I am sure you are!
And if you are,
Welcome to the GIRL BOSS tribe baby!
Time to kick some BUTT!
P.S. The way we think won’t change overnight, you’ve got to train your mind and thoughts to react differently to those situations we talked about. And you will catch yourself feeling some type of way, but when you do, think back to this post and switch your mindset. Work on a better you! And give back only positive vibes to the Universe. TAKE WHAT’S YOURS!
You are going through a VERY awkward stage of your life a.k.a. puberty
Or maybe you “bloomed” early and skipped right through puberty
And your parents actually gave you money to get your hair done and buy nice clothes
Maybe you even had a cell phone
(nothing wrong with that!)
But let’s just think back to those days for a minute..
Because no matter what “stage” you were in..
Everyone was measuring you up
And trying to see if you were “cool” enough in their eyes.
You are now walking to your first class..
Everyone is starring, making comments, whispering..
“Who is that?”
“What is she wearing?”
“Are those PIMPLES in her face?!”
“Let’s cross her right off our list”
Fun times, right?
Now, add a different skin color and a BIG.FAT.ACCENT
Like, something that screams “I don’t belong here“
You are now an immigrant in a foreign country, going through Middle School
And guess what?!
YOU CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT IT
It wasn’t your decision, but you are stuck in this foreign place where you don’t speak the language
Where your childhood friends are now just a memory, as you don’t know when you’ll see them again
I mean, those friends get you- they get your style, your weirdness, your ways
But now you gotta start over, so SNAP OUT OF IT
(oh and by the way, your name screams “I don’t belong here” and NO ONE knows how to pronounce it)
Someone’s calling your name but you don’t know how to respond in their language
It’s your teacher
She wants you to read this chapter of the history book out loud…so everyone can hear!
So you try your best..
But you never took English classes before coming to the United States
And all you know are these words: Water (insert British accent here), dog, cat, and hello.
Now everyone starts laughing
They are not being TOO loud and obvious but you can hear them
They are kids, they don’t get what you’re going through.
But so are you.
This is only the beginning of lots of humiliations, getting made fun of..
Not to mention, you are also seeing how hurt your parents are
They are also getting humiliated by their peers at work.
And they start to wonder why they even decided to move here.
Is all this even worth it?
They HATE the fact they had to put their kids through this
But they did it for them (for you!)
They want YOU to have a better future
You can’t give up, right?
You must keep it together.
Now, that was a Middle School example.
But that’s something many immigrants deal with everyday
Adults are looked at differently everyday, therefore treated poorly
Judged because they don’t look like they belong
Judged before even being spoken to
Being HUMILIATED at work by their peers because of their accents
And the list goes on.
Still today, October 10th of 2016-
17 years later..
Kids are going through what I went through in school
Being bullied, talked down on, laughed at because they are “different”
And here we are, having TRUMP as one of the candidates for President, next to Hillary.
Why do we think he’s up there?
Racism still very much exists.
I know that’s only one of the reasons people are supporting him. But you get my point.
Now, answer me this:
When will everyone be treated and looked at the same?
What WORLD are we creating for our current and future generation?
When will enough, finally be enough?
The point of me telling you this story comes from a quote I very much believe in..
“YOU MUST BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.” -Gandhi
We tend to point fingers when it comes to all the terrible things we see and hear about everyday in this World.
But if everyone started with themselves, started changing maybe one thing here and there that could
make THEM a better person. The World would ultimately start being a better place.
START WITH YOU.
“If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns.” -Gandhi
I hope this helps you think differently.
It’s never too late to be a better version of ourselves.